OK so I lied! I am scared to death!!! I am nervous I have been running around all morning like a chicken with no head.....I am scared I can't get a hold of the MOS so I am gonna have to take the kids!!! Which isn't something I wanted to do! I have to do this by myself because DJ is God knows where...so much for promises...but you bet your ass he made sure he was here for his shit next week!

OK I am done with that...I want this to be over today....I can let my mother go and go on with my life!!! Hopefully today will end it all and I can say goodbye!!!!


So NOTE to all my wonderful friends who have talked me though this thing........if I got off the deep end I am sorry!!! Depending on the outcome of todays deal depends on what I am going to do!!!!

Honestly I shouldn't be surprised that NO ONE in my family has thought to pick up a phone and say hey are you ok? If I was half as selfish as they were I would have well never mind! I am done with it all!


OK I am gonna go....need to get ready! Laters!

Big Day

Today is the day! I go back to court today....gotta see what is gonna happen with that...yes I am VERY nervous...very scared and I dont know what I am gonna do or what is gonna happen! I have to admit that rescheduling all of it has ran though the brain more than once, since I don't have a lawyer and I don't know what is going to happen!!!

Sucks when you know and the rest of the world knows you didn't do anything wrong, and the ONE person that could say NO NO NO she didn't do this...is dead!!! Oh better idea...take the blame for all the bull shit you pulled on us growing up and becomming adults! Yeah well that isnt gonna happen either!!!!!!

I am hoping since there are no facts to be presented and there is no one to testify for the state this will all GO AWAY!!!! At least that is the plan!!!! I will keep ya posted!!!! SAY A PRAYER!! I am gonna need it!!! Shan