Part Two

OK where were we....yeah after we got married. Well his friend Jarod was living with us, helping me out while he was on the road. I had two kids and we owned two businesses....geeze lousie we were so stupid...NOT stupid but young and didn't know what we were doing. All of that went south quick. After the money was gone the fights started. And neither one of us knew how to verbally fight without getting physical. Well I have to say before we got married I knew he was physical but not till I started it. So I thought if I kept it under control he would too...LMAO..yeah right. Well before we were married right before Christmas of 1995 we got into a fight and he kicked my car over and over so I wrecked my car into his. Yeah it wasn't good...it was nasty and wrong and stupid and by all means, he should have been allowed to choak me to death. BUT thank God for Jarod....he pulled him off of me...anyway..that is something we laugh about now.....

OK well in March a month to the day after we were married his Granny died. Pretty quickly too. And I have to say and if any of his family is reading this I am sorry, but I was there...there wasnt a phone call until she had sliped out of conciouness. THAT is when his cousin decided it was bull shit and called him. For some reason NO ONE thought to call him. Now I dont know why, it isn't like they didn't know where we were or what our number or my parents numbers were. BUT that is between them and God now. He was a wreck...he was such a mess. Things happened that I promised him I wouldnt ever talk about...but lets just say he lost his mind for about a week. After the funeral was over with that is...he kept it together till that was said and done then he LOST his freaking mind! I took the kids and went to my moms for a few days...Jarod kept him stoned the entire time, because that is the only way he could be dealt with. Again thank God for Jarod!!!

Well, about two months later we got into a fight in the yard and the neighbors called the cops....he was hauled off to jail...although to be honest he didn't hit anyone that night, he was just stupid enough to pick up a hammer and was walking towards my jeep at the time the cops showed up. HE was actually the one bleeding...I damn near went to jail with him that night because I have a big mouth! We were told to stay the hell away from one another, so for a few days we did. He left town...not to sure where he was...Amarillo I think...I got a job, thanks to him honestly at a sports bar....and had him help me babysit the kids, whom at the time were 19 months and 8 months old. Yeah crazy...well I was evicted from our home...and found a place in amarillo to live...and moved on...worked my ass off and took him to Altus Oklahoma and left him there to work.

In July of that year he called me and asked me to come and get him in Odessa Texas, how the hell he ended up there I am not sure other than he had family there. So I went and got him..borrowed a guys car and went, because by this time I had gotten my car repoed because I couldn't afford everything! I was bribing my little sisters and a guy I worked with his little sister too to baby sit by letting their boyfriends come over while they were watching the kids. Yes I know it was awful and trust me it would not ever happen these days. BUT I had to have a job, I sure wasn't getting any child support from Michael and he already had gotten another girl pregnant, she actually lived with me for a while...that is till she flipped out one time and left, taking half of shelbys old baby clothes with her...whatever...I dont' really care personally...she didnt take anything I needed anymore anyway! I was getting nothing from DJ hell I didn't hear from him for almost a month before he called and asked to come home. I figured hell why not I needed someone to stay with the kids. Well that is when the no job and being a stay at home dad started for him. It sucked but in a way it was cool.

That was till I lost my job....not sure why I lost my job but I did. I think it was because I knew the boss was screwing around on his wife and I didn't cover for him a couple of times, so I got canned. Couldn't afford the rent and of course he wasn't getting a job. So we moved back to Vega, we moved into a house his mom and step dad were living in...but when we moved there they moved down to the other house on the property. This was September 1996. He worked for a harvester for a while, then he sarted ya know the more I think about it I can't tell you where he was working. I know I was working at the Longhorn Cafe for Doug, doing a little bit of everything and being miserable because we lived so close to his mom. Well she went off the deep end one night and went to Odessa...or as Johnny and I like to call it, Slow-detha! And of course true to nature she had to live there so therefore so did we. That lasted all of a few months, before Heather showed up on night and brought me back to what I thought was reality, and I got a job at the Big Texan in Amarillo where she was working. And we moved back to Vega....I told him he could come or he could stay...I didn't care anymore! But I could not stay one more minute in that freaking town! So we moved into a little two bedroom house down from the school...it was perfect...we had our moments, but other than that things were pretty good. That was until Bryan entered the picture...I was smitten I will admit but nothing happened, I know he doesn't believe that but it didn't! He moved back to Odessa taking Shelby with him...that didnt last long either....but I can say it was some of the most painful times in my life.

By this time we had been married for a year....our first anniversary consited of a wonderfuly expensive suite and all of our friends smoking pot and getting drunk...yeah so romantic! Nothing happened that night either! Anyways...he came home and we were a family again...mind you married one year and seperated more time then together. Not so sure what the hell we were thinking! BUT we decided we needed to move into the house at the farm, since everyone was living in Odessa. We got a hold of Johnny and his mom and asked they didn't seem to mind as long as we cleaned it out....well we did that. What we failed to realize is that they weren't the only ones that should have been talked to about the entire thing...Anna should have been talked to also. But we were young and pretty much believed anything his mom told us about the whole deal and didn't think about it really. And when it all came out she wasn't mad anyway...at least we weren't tearing up the house.

Then IT happened.....
METH...I didn't even know what the stuff was. That is how sheltered I had been. I had to go to work one day and ask Doug what it was. It was starting to control my life, and I didn't even realize it. DJ didn't come home much, spent many many hours with Michael and some other people, spent many nights not coming home and when he did...he didn't come to bed. Until my uncle showed up with pictures of him doing it I didn't even realize it was happening. I mean I knew something was going on but I didn't know exactly what. I knew I was being lied to about a shit load of things, but I didnt realize what it was about!

Thanksgiving 1997....we decide we need to go to Odessa to see his mom...we hadn't been there since the summer, it was time for him to get a Mommy fix, and I knew Anna was going to be there so hey why not! Do you ever look back on one paticular moment and go, IF that would have gone somewhat differently MY life would be sooo different. THAT was one of those moments, actually that whole week was a moment. We ended up moving back....BIG mistake, even after I had found out about all of it...I knew about the drugs, I knew he was doing them, I knew what it was doing to us. I couldn't leave him alone there...we would have no longer been married after all....SHEESH...what a nieve mess! I think about it all now and I would NOT go back to that to save my ass. NO WAY....
We went though hell living in Odessa...he wouldn't keep a job, every bit of
money we did have went to dope...even though he says otherwise...sorry BULL SHIT....We were living in a cockroach infested trailer, at 13 Stoner Lane...yeah NIGHTMARE....the only gifts our kids got for Christmas that year was a plastic truck each that year...Thank God they were little and had no clue what was going on. DJs uncle bought them bikes that year...that was it!!! Our car was stole that Christmas, my grandmother died two days later, and DJ dragged me out of the house and threatened to kill me if I didn't go back home, meaning Vega. That didn't happen either. I didn't know what was happening totally...but I did know it wasn't good.

Got rid of all the scum that was living with us and got him to move to Midland away from everyone...that was stupid too...we were spending more time in Odessa than before. We ended up moving out of Midland, oh I should mention at this time my parents were getting a divorce...and that wasn't helping my faith in mankind at all...BUT we moved in with his mom and Johnny...what a nightmare that ended up being...he couldn't seem to make it to work on time, no matter how hard her tried, he got to work 2 minutes late one morning and called me back to get him. Apparently they had warned him if he was late one more time even a minute he was fired....well so there we sat...No job, no house, no money, NOTHING....and our jeep got repoed again...well my grandparents loaned me the money and I got it back, and he called his dad and asked for help. His dad gave him a job and flew him to OKC....This was May 1998.....