Part 6 Finally!

OK I know I have taken my sweet ass time getting this part posted…I am sure most have lost interest! Sorry it has been a busy busy nightmare around here lately! OOK enough chit chat….Part 6 begins….

Well after all that was said and done, that night was quite possibly one of the longest nights of my life. BUT the morning sun came up and it was a new day. I woke pretty early that next morning….trying to figure out what I was going to do. Honestly the next few days are a blur! I was so freaked out over what had happened and the strength I had show in making him leave that I didn’t know what to do or where that had come from or what my next move was going to be. Not that I had not thought about it constantly for almost a year, I had just never thought I had it in me to do it!

To make a long story short…he went to stay in Amarillo with his mom. Which was a huge mistake because that is where all the dope was. Annoying shit, but it was true. The kids went and spent one night with him and I got a phone call from his mom and sister saying he was bringing them home because he was being a bastard to them. He asked to come home then….I said no! I had had to take off work to come and get the kids and he looked like he had been on a week long bender. The only reason I had let the kids go is because his sister and mom were right there and I STUPIDLY thought that it would be alright. I do believe that is the day I took Lanes car seat from him and he made a comment about the only reason I don’t want him home is because I was getting fucked by someone else! I threw the car seat at him! That wasn’t the reason….he knows that now…but at the time arr anyways!!!

About a month into the separation and him conning me out of about 200 bucks for this that and the other….I finally said FORGET IT! No more! Aint happening! I cut off all communication with him. I even told someone that it would be easier if he fell off the face of the earth! Which he pretty much did. Then it happened….he came to the house to get some of his stuff there. I sat him down…he looked pretty good actually and he was working which was good. I asked him to come home. I told him we could work things out and figure all of this out….and he said no…he had made a commitment to Chris (his cousin) to move in with him and he couldn’t back out! (did you hear my heart shatter) I was broken! I didn’t even know what to say…I just finished helping him pack his stuff and watched him leave! That night I did some stupid things which I wont’ go into because it is in the past and it is over and done and it won’t happen again!!!!! There are only maybe a couple of people that know what happened that night and they aint telling! I just can’t go into it…lets just say it wasn’t my most shinning moment!

OK Back to that summer…..besides having my heart ripped out by him every time I saw him….things were ok. But I honestly cannot get into all the details because they are someone elses details too and I don’t want to infringe on his privacy as well. Lets just say I was learning to live again and realizing that I didn’t have to be the victim in all of this. I as strong and independent and I could be a whole person. Not that it mattered much…I was still scared and insecure….but that changed.

August of that year my ex, Michael, his niece whom I had remained close to all these years, was getting married and she had a bachelorette party. Well his current wife and I were getting along pretty well and so we drive down to Crowell Texas together. What a mistake! What a huge fucking mistake! Not the being with Jamie, because she is half ass a nice person….but Adrian Anne was really really drunk and her mouth tends to run when she is doing that. And she started asking me about the other man and if I loved him and blah blah blah…..I didn’t want to talk about it as I had not had near as much to drink as she did! And that is when the bomb dropped! She told me she had been sleeping with DJ before we split! Something of which he denies! But there is to much evidence to prove otherwise. They were all on dope and blah…I personally don’t give a shit as to why they did what they did…SHE was someone I held near and dear to my heart and he was my husband. But I guess in their minds they justified it as well we aren’t in our right minds…well if you can justify it that well then fuck you you know what you are doing!!!! Jamie and I left…and I didn’t go to her wedding. Which was a good thing, because they were divorced a year later! HA! No I shouldn’t say that he was really a nice guy….they just weren’t meant to be!

Anyways…I came back to Vega that night and instead of going back to that house where all those memories were and all the hard times had happened and things were just NOT good….I went to my guy friends house….I crawled in bed with him and cried for a day! I felt like such a fool. How had everyone known what was going on and no one said anything to me? How could they all do this to me after all the good I had done for them. The love and truth I had given them. I will tell you this…those were some of the darkest days of my life, and had it not been for him sitting right next to me letting me know that I Was going to make it though this I don’t’ think I would have. I was broken. That was honestly my rock bottom. There was no where left to go but UP! This wasn’t the first time they had messed around together and made it ok! And I had forgiven it the first time which I should have never ever done! But I did! OK I gotta stop now, because this is bringing back way more emotion in me then I ever thought it would. Makes me mad at him and he doesn’t deserve to pay for his sins more than once. Makes me hurt still to this day at thinking at what happened. I will write more soon I promise.
I hope everyone knows I am not ignoring all of this I am just getting to the very emotional part of it all….and to be honest…there are parts of me that will never get over all of the deceit and backstabbing, and anger I still feel well up in me about it. Some say I might not be over it…some might be right…but he has paid for those things….he has mended this bridge…and it isn’t that I am so angry at him anymore…I hold myself accountable for a lot of it too. The mistakes I made not knowing what the hell I was doing in the situation. Anyways….there is more to come I promise!!!