Part Four....Summer 99-00

The summer of 1999....hmm...that is the summer I found the internet! YEAH!!!! What a rush that was. It was fun and nice to be chatting with real people. At this time he was rarely home...as usual. We were living back in Oklahoma, and I didn't have a car. Life sucked as usual. My sister, Denise came and stayed with me again. We had fun...she was such a HUGE help. I was so close to losing it. Post partum depression was really setting in. I didn't really know what it was, and he didn't know either. We were a family but not a good working family.
He did get us a car, BUT it fell apart, his dad and wife went to Hawaii and left us in charge. The truck broke down again...and we were stuck. BROKE ASS stuck! I finally broke...I lost it and couldn't handle life well at all. Things were totally falling apart. JR was staying with us, and so was my mom and my sister, and this is all in a hot two bedroom house.....come to find out there was a snake den under the house, non poisonus snakes, but snakes non the less.
Sometime in there came the time when my mother decided to run off to I dont even know where to get some guy she was in love with over the internet. I ended up being so upset with her because she did bring the guy back to the house and I told her NO WAY was that man going to be staying in my home. Well that pissed her off...come to find out, this past fall, the boy friend beat the crap out of her and she blamed it on me. There is still a warrent we are trying to get lifted, because it is bogus.

DJs dad decided to buy a trailer house, a pretty nice place over in Harrah Oklahoma, and offered it to us. So of course we took it. This was in September of 1999. By this time Mom had taken off to New Hampshire with my sister, I called my dad asking him how Denise was and he said I don't know your mother called and said she was with you! Well after a couple of weeks we found out where she was and got her back to OK with me and he came and got her. During this time, DJ and I weren't spending much time together. I was working for his dad, with no pay, well NO I take that back they paid 100 bucks in day care for me, but that was only Zach and Shelby. DJ and I talked every day and he was becomming more and more stressed as was I due to his dads wife. She was an evil woman! I won't go into that here, but I will say on Halloween day 1999 I quit...I had a mental meltdown in the office because of her and quit. Thank God DJ was there...he took me home and put me to bed. That was the first of many mental meltdowns I was to have over the course of the next couple of years. Looking back on it, it was actually a long long time coming.

DJ decided in December he couldn't take working there anymore either. She was nit picking his check to the point that a check that should have been almost a thousand bucks would end up being 200! We couldn't live on that. Well, at the time he was not old enough to get his CDL and had really no other skills....SO back to Vega we went!

Christmas 1999 wasn't much better than the year before. In fact supper was something I am not sure we had, maybe we did I don't remember. I do know his mom got drunk that night, and brought a live chicken in the house and cleared the table with it and tried to kill it with a knife, and then went and let the horses out to prove she could stand in the middle of the field and hold her arms out and they would come back to her. DJ and JR had to go catch them before a semi ran them over on the highway! It was quite the bs experience.

Neither one of us was working at that time. I couldn't get anyone to watch the kids long enough for me to go back to work and he was to busy smoking pot and trying to be everything his mommy wanted him to be! It was so fucking frustrating....again another mental, in bed for a week, meltdown. BUT right before that happened the night before New Years Eve, we were all sitting around the kitchen table and I had said something to the girls about hey aren't you going to do those dishes like you mom asked? They both pretty much told me to piss off, they weren't going to do them because they didn't have to she wouldn't do anything to them anyway. I said fine...I promise...that is all I said and got up and went back into our room and started folding up clothes. His mom came home DRUNK>>>>DRUNK!!!!! Came back to the bedroom and started chewing me out for telling her girls what to do...I was like hey...listen I just asked if they were gonna do what you asked them to do! And the fight was on....SO I grabbed the kids and tried to leave, I got Zach in the car and went back in to get Lane and Shelby...let me just say....the only reason Zach got in the car first is because he was right there with me and I pushed him out the back door and told him to run to the car and start it....nutso thing to have a 4 year old to do, but I was scared...well I get back in and they have grabbed Shelby and forced her down in the basement, and I can't get to her...YES DJ was there and YES he was on their side. He was calling me all kinds of names, and I do recall him even pulling my hair. So I got Lane and got him in the car....went back to get Shelby, they wouldn't let me in...she came out and got in my face and said she was gonna call the cops....I said GO Ahead PLEASE call the cops! Of course that isnt gonna happen! So I left...Lord knows I didn't want to leave Shelby there with them, but I had no other choice, there were 6-7 people standing in my way! I went to my dads...I didn't have anywhere else to go...I was scared and alone and crushed. LONG story short, DJ came to my dads the next day and brought me home! I had no other choice I had no money no car and I couldn't stay with my dad in his one bedroom house! What else could I do? I had to go back and I had to apologize for doing whatever it was that I did...which wasn't anything, but I needed my child back and I had no where else to go!!! Not my most shining moment......

We finally got our things moved back from Oklahoma in Feburary, and moved back into the smaller house at the farm. I went back to work and he messed around here and there, and was suppose to be watching the kids while I was working, but of course they were watching themselves. By this time Anna and Regina had come to live with us, and things were ok I suppose. She and I got along great....and she helped soooooooooo much with the kids because he had his head up his ass!!!!

That was the Easter from hell...everyone got drunk, I grabbed all the kids and started down to our house...Somehow DJ and Johnny got into an agruement and Anna got involved, ya know I know he was working at the time I just don't know where....but I know Johnny was thinking that we were living off of Anna, which wasn't true at all....he was just pissed because she decided NOT to give him any more money because Winnie was just smoking it up. And Johnny ended up being put against the wall by Anna...OMG it was just one of those things that had alcohol not been involved it would never have happened. I for one at that the time, wasn't drinking...I had no desire to drink...all of those people were drinking enough for everyone else I didn't need too by any means!!!!


Lane had his first birthday, and for the life of me I cannot remember where he was working or if he even was. This is May 2000....It was a wonderful celebration for him...to many moms and chiefs in the house and it was somewhat annoying to me to have that many people in my house.....but it was for the baby, and he wasn't intersted at all in the whole thing. Although Anna made his cake and it looked like something that you buy at a bakery! It was awesome....I had quit the job I was working at, which was 15 miles away and I was having to work 7 days a week from noon till 11pm...I hated it...and I wasn't' making much money! So I went back and talked to an old boss of mine who I knew was looking for someone and he hired me on the spot. So I was back working at the motel cafe, which was 4pm to 10pm but it was a mile away from the house and I had more time with the kids and myself and trying to have more time with him, but we were being pulled farther and farther apart....we were NOT doing anything together, we weren't doing anything around each other...he had his life and I had mine!!! That is how the summer from hell began........