Hello All,
Well as you may have noticed I have not posted my blog in a while....well I have been busy and to be honest it has been the last thing on my mind. I have had to change back to blogger because the place I had my last blog now wants to charge for people to ramble on and on...so whats the point in having to pay for someone to read your thoughts...isn't that why you pay to have the internet in the first place....if I wanted that I would just send out a mass email when I feel like it!
OK now that that is off my chest....Where do I begin...OK Holidays...they are coming up...Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, all those wonderful, stuff you face till you feel like you are gonna explode and feel like a fat ass in January, holidays!! I have had so many people ask me what we are doing to Thanksgiving...and I can't honestly say I want to do a damn thing this year. This is the first year in many many years, that we haven't had all of our friends and family around. Granted DJ's family is here and that is great, we will go to his grandparents and eat, but other than that nothing. We did invite Johnny and Doug for the holiday, but I don't think they are coming...at least I haven't heard a yes but then again I haven't heard a no either. So who knows. This is gonna be the first year in many I have not been with my sister on Thanksgiving, first year in many I haven't cooked 80% of the meal, thank God for Anna and her sweet potatos and broccoli rice cassarole....and desserts! I am gonna miss that...I can honestly say I miss everyone so very much this year! It is so hard when you are soooo used to having everyone around and now it seems bare to me. Zachary is going to Texas for the holiday...this way I get him for Christmas....had to prioratize this one! LOL OK Off the pitty pot....
Denise turned 20 yesterday...which made me start thinking about when I was 20...what a hellish time...nope wouldn't go back to it for nothin....ok well maybe there are a few nights I would like to revisit! LOL I am really proud of her and how she is doing. Hurts that I can't be there with her or she here with me....She turned 20 yesterday and she moves into her very own place this weekend! Her first place....yes I have been fighting back the tears...no it hasn't been working! I know some of you might say well she is just your little sister, but in the grand scheme of things, when it really comes down to it....Amanda and Denise are all I have left of childhood....you know those little things that follow you though life...well they are mine. No more parents, I really don't have any friends left that I still speak to on a regular basis from that era of my life, well if I really wanna be honest, they are all I have left of my mother. Good or bad, and as some of you know I haven't been having good thoughts of her lately, WE three are all WE have left of Mom! For better or worse! HAHA!!! It is strange because I see them growing into women and I know Mom would be proud...she would critisize our decissions to the other two...but she would be proud! Amanda being the world travler she is...I watch her grow more every day...Japan may be the best thing she could have done! And Denise...finally on her own...learning those hard ass lessons of life...like you gotta pay the rent before you go to the bar! LOL I am amazed every day at the both of them....against it all they are both really becomming their own person.
OK enough gushy stuff for now!!!
I will write more later!! The kids are great...little on the sickly side but they are doing fine! We have a soccer game today..and yes we have actually won ONE game this year...have a feeling it will be the only game this year...but who cares...they are all having fun!!! Talk to you all soon! Shan
Saturday, November 19, 2005
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