Before I was a mom.... This is nothing but the truth. Loved it and hope you will too. ENJOY!!!!
Before I was a Mom, I slept as late as I wanted and never worried about how late I got into bed. I brushed my hair and my teeth everyday.
Before I was a Mom I cleaned my house each day. I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby. I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous. I never thought about immunizations.
Before I was a MomI had never been puked on. Pooped on. Spit on. Chewed on. Peed on. I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts. I slept all night.
Before I was a Mom I never held down a screaming child so that doctors could do tests. Or give shots. I never looked into teary eyes and cried. I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin. I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.
Before I was a Mom I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put it down. I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt. I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much. I never knew that I could love someone so much. I never knew I would love being a Mom.
Before I was a Mom I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body. I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby. I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child. I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.
Before I was a Mom I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay. I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom. I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much before I was a Mom.
Wednesday, November 23, 2005
Sunday, November 20, 2005
Question....
I was thinking about another blog that I read today, and the question hit me....
"why do men get so upset when women ask why they must sleep with their hands in their pants?"
Shan
"why do men get so upset when women ask why they must sleep with their hands in their pants?"
Shan
As titled...Ramblings.....
Good Morning All,
Well I have a few things I want to ramble on and on about because they just irritate me!!! I know there are some people out there that swear that everything irritates the shit out of me....and you know what maybe you few are right...there is something about everything that bothers me....BUT I do not personally think that I am alone with that...I think everyone is that way, but there aren't many people out there that will voice what they think! And I for one, as most of you know, demand that my voice be heard, and yes I know I am NOT always right, BUT I am NOT always wrong either!
OK For starters....this who Blind Dating Shows....what a crock! I was flipping though the channels last night and this show was on...personally I do not watch that kind of crap....Love Connection when I was a kid was uncomfortable enough, and half the time I didn't know what they were talking about! BUT this show...what a nightmare, I was honestly embarassed for this guy last night...what a dork....he was a T-totaler....no drinking, no smoking NOTHING....Was your A typical geek
....started college at 15, very smart but NOT acting his age, 22, acted more 88! And the girl they paired him with was a Go Go Dancer at a club, and a drinker and all kinds of totally different personalitys! Why do they do this....they hook people up who are complete opposites...NEVER works out...WHY DO PEOPLE KEEP going on the stupid show? Actually from what I saw after flipping by it a few more times trying to find something to watch, it worked out...she liked the geek! He was cute...just a complete dork! Anyway...my whole point in this is to say...what the hell...why do this to yourself? I know the answer...to be on TV and to be completly humiliated by the stupid balloon pop ups they put on the screen! I am uncomfortable watching it....anyway....on to the next rant....
Well I have a few things I want to ramble on and on about because they just irritate me!!! I know there are some people out there that swear that everything irritates the shit out of me....and you know what maybe you few are right...there is something about everything that bothers me....BUT I do not personally think that I am alone with that...I think everyone is that way, but there aren't many people out there that will voice what they think! And I for one, as most of you know, demand that my voice be heard, and yes I know I am NOT always right, BUT I am NOT always wrong either!
OK For starters....this who Blind Dating Shows....what a crock! I was flipping though the channels last night and this show was on...personally I do not watch that kind of crap....Love Connection when I was a kid was uncomfortable enough, and half the time I didn't know what they were talking about! BUT this show...what a nightmare, I was honestly embarassed for this guy last night...what a dork....he was a T-totaler....no drinking, no smoking NOTHING....Was your A typical geek
....started college at 15, very smart but NOT acting his age, 22, acted more 88! And the girl they paired him with was a Go Go Dancer at a club, and a drinker and all kinds of totally different personalitys! Why do they do this....they hook people up who are complete opposites...NEVER works out...WHY DO PEOPLE KEEP going on the stupid show? Actually from what I saw after flipping by it a few more times trying to find something to watch, it worked out...she liked the geek! He was cute...just a complete dork! Anyway...my whole point in this is to say...what the hell...why do this to yourself? I know the answer...to be on TV and to be completly humiliated by the stupid balloon pop ups they put on the screen! I am uncomfortable watching it....anyway....on to the next rant....
THE BIRD FLU......
What the heck is up with that? I mean seriously.... what a mess this has turned into! The pres saying we may have to take action and use Martial Law because of the flu? All these vacines, which they can't really make one till they know for sure what kind of flu they are dealing with. And Tama-Flu....did you know it was made from a Chinese herb? Why not just take the herb? And no one knows for sure if that will work. Then this morning as I was walking though the living room I saw a guy on TV selling a book on an infomercial about beating the bird flu! What an ass....making money off of this crap! What the heck is wrong with people...does ANYONE have any morals anymore? NO...it is all about making money!!! Just ticks me off....
STUPID PEOPLE!!!!
Need I say more!
OK I am done rambling for now....I have to go! ME
Saturday, November 19, 2005
What a darn day!
Ever just have one of those days that you wished you could go back to bed and start all over again? That was today...I think I was just annoyed with everything and how everything is going. WE lost our butts today at soccer, we were playing a competitive team instead of a rec team....so of course we got our butts kicked! AND one of our girls scored for them! It was an awful beating....15-1 beating!!!! I am not sure what the hell happened but it was nasty! And then I have this assistant that is just a BLOOMING IDIOT....and I wanted to kick his butt!!! I finally had to tell him to shut the hell up....he is only 18 and has no kids, and just acts like an idiot! Oh well
Well I am not gonna ramble on my pitty pot anymore tonight...I am exhausted! Gonna go kick my kid out of my bed and go sleep!!!! Hasta!
Well I am not gonna ramble on my pitty pot anymore tonight...I am exhausted! Gonna go kick my kid out of my bed and go sleep!!!! Hasta!
Old Stuff
I have taken a few things from my last blog and reposted them here...some of my favorite rants!!!! LOL Shan
THIS IS BULL SHIT!!! Listen I am a pretty tolerable person! I dont care what people do behind closed doors!! BUT this...COME ON...anyone who has ever been around a Cowboy for any length of time knows this is BS...no dry eyes in the theater....there is a reason for that..and it isn't because it is a moving film!!!!
And these are two good actors...I have always enjoyed their movies...THIS one I REFUSE to watch....it isnt' even close to a train wreck where you have to rubberneck and stare....this is just sickening!!!! I agree with that lady from WY.....this isn't how it happened! I grew up around men just like this...Drunks, violent, foul mouthed, smart/stupid....all ways I can think to describe these men....GAY...NO WAY!!!
Why is it that these people have to ruin EVERYTHING? It really burns my ass!!!! Sorry grandparents...but this is CRAP!!!!! Shannon
XXXXX DRUDGE REPORT XXXXX SUN NOV 06, 2005 19:28:02 ET XXXXX HOLLYWOOD ROCKED: 'GAY COWBOY' MOVIE BECOMES AN OSCAR FRONTRUNNERArriving with nudity and explicit gay sex scenes between two cowboys, UNIVERSAL/FOCUS FILMS's BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN has quietly become an award season frontrunner, interviews with Academy members reveal. "It could very well be the last film standing at this year's Oscars," a top Hollywood producer not associated with the film explained from Hollywood. "There was not a dry eye in the house at the screening at Telluride [Film Festival in Colorado]," says the producer, who asked not to be named out of respect for the cast and crew of the producer's own Oscar contender. "Watch it come out of the gate at the Golden Globes with super controversy." NEW YORK DAILY NEWS critic Jack Mathews predicts the gay cowboy movie, which takes place in Wyoming, may be "too much for red-state audiences, but it gives the liberal-leaning Academy a great chance to stick its thumb in conservatives' eyes." Director Ang Lee's movie staring Jake Gyllenhaal and Heath Ledger won the Golden Lion, the top prize at the Venice Film Festival earlier this fall. But will a movie even Madonna calls "shocking" sit with the heartland? Playwright and lifelong Wyomingite tells the STAR-TRIBUNE of Casper this week that she has never encountered a gay cowboy, and doesn't think it's right for Hollywood to portray Wyoming as a state with gay cowboys. Her message to the writers of BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN: “Don't try and take what we had, which was wonderful -- the cowboys that settled the state and made it what it was -- don't ruin that image... There's nothing better than plain old cowboys and the plain old history without embellishing it to suit everyone." Meanwhile, Michell Howard of the state's Travel and Tourism Division says her agency is already hearing a buzz that people in other countries are expressing interest in visiting Wyoming because of the film. “It's gotten rave reviews from the international community,” she said. “I don't know if they're more tolerant or something, but they're viewing it as a great Western movie.” Developing... -----------------------------------------------------------Filed By Matt DrudgeReports are moved when circumstances warranthttp://www.drudgereport.com for updates(c)DRUDGE REPORT 2005
I found this one a web site...and I know I am just as guilty as anyone else of cussing tuckers on the highway for either going to fast or too slow or just getting in my way...but honestly...this says it all and we should all think about it the next time those big rigs get in our way!!!! Shan
WE ARE AMERICAN TRUCKERS...WE COME IN ALL COLORS, SHAPES AND SIZES AND IN BOTH GENDERS. YOU CAN IDENTIFY US BY THE CREASES AROUND OUR EYES FROM SQUINTING TO SEE FAR AHEAD DOWN THE RIBBION OF CONCRETE THAT WE LIVE ON FOR OBSTACLES AND SITUATIONS THAT MIGHT SAVE YOUR LIFE OR MINE, BY THE CALOUSED HANDS WE HAVE FROM YEARS OF HOLDING THE WHEEL STEADY ON ALL TYPES OF ROADS AND IN ALL TYPES OF WEATHER, AND THE PRIDES IN OUR SMILES WHEN ONCE AGAIN, WE DELIVER ON TIME AGAINST ALL ODDS.WE ARE AMERICAN TRUCKERS...WE GIVE UP MUCH TO SERVE YOU AND OUR COUNTRY...WE RARELY GET HOME TO SEE OUR KIDS GROW UP, WE OFTEN LOSE THE LOVE OF OUR SPOUSES AND PARTNERS WHO ARE LEFT TOO MUCH ALONE AND WE WORK LONG HARD HOURS FILLED WITH DANGER AT EVERY TURN. WITHOUT US YOU WOULDN'T HAVE A HOUSE TO SHELTER YOU, FOOD TO EAT, CLOTHES TO WEAR, A CAR TO DRIVE OR MEDICINE WHEN YOU ARE SICK. EVERYTHING YOU HAVE AND USE CAME BY A TRUCK, DRIVEN BY ONE OF USE. WE ARE THE BACK BONE OF THIS NATIONS ECONOMY.WE ARE AMERICAN TRUCKERS...3 MILLION PLUS STRONG, THE MAJORITY OF US ARE DECENT, HARD WORKING, PATRIOTIC PEOPLE WHO WORK UNDER THE STRICTIST REGULATIONS IN THE COUNTRY LAYING OUR LIVES ON THE LINE EVERY MINUTE FOR LITTLE MORE THAN MINIMUM WAGE FOR THE HOURS WE WORK. YET, BECAUSE OF A FEW BAD APPLES, WE ARE REVILED, HATED, FEARED AND USED IN YELLOW JOURNALISM TO PROMOTE HIDDEN AGENDAS BY YOU, THE VERY PEOPLE WE SERVE...STILL WE TRUCK ON.[blue]WE ARE AMERICAN TRUCKERS...WE ARE AS IMPORTANT TO THE COUNTRYS PROSPERITY AND SECURITY AS ANY OTHER PUBLIC SERVANT BE IT POLICE OFFICER, FIREMAN OR POLITIAN. WE ARE PROUD OF OUR JOBS AND OUR HISTORY WHICH IS ROOTED IN THE CARAVANS OF EGYPT AND THE MULE TRAINS OF EARLY AMERICAN HISTORY.WE ARE AMERICAS DRIVING FORCE...WE ARE THE AMERICAN TRUCKERS
THIS IS BULL SHIT!!! Listen I am a pretty tolerable person! I dont care what people do behind closed doors!! BUT this...COME ON...anyone who has ever been around a Cowboy for any length of time knows this is BS...no dry eyes in the theater....there is a reason for that..and it isn't because it is a moving film!!!!
And these are two good actors...I have always enjoyed their movies...THIS one I REFUSE to watch....it isnt' even close to a train wreck where you have to rubberneck and stare....this is just sickening!!!! I agree with that lady from WY.....this isn't how it happened! I grew up around men just like this...Drunks, violent, foul mouthed, smart/stupid....all ways I can think to describe these men....GAY...NO WAY!!!
Why is it that these people have to ruin EVERYTHING? It really burns my ass!!!! Sorry grandparents...but this is CRAP!!!!! Shannon
XXXXX DRUDGE REPORT XXXXX SUN NOV 06, 2005 19:28:02 ET XXXXX HOLLYWOOD ROCKED: 'GAY COWBOY' MOVIE BECOMES AN OSCAR FRONTRUNNERArriving with nudity and explicit gay sex scenes between two cowboys, UNIVERSAL/FOCUS FILMS's BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN has quietly become an award season frontrunner, interviews with Academy members reveal. "It could very well be the last film standing at this year's Oscars," a top Hollywood producer not associated with the film explained from Hollywood. "There was not a dry eye in the house at the screening at Telluride [Film Festival in Colorado]," says the producer, who asked not to be named out of respect for the cast and crew of the producer's own Oscar contender. "Watch it come out of the gate at the Golden Globes with super controversy." NEW YORK DAILY NEWS critic Jack Mathews predicts the gay cowboy movie, which takes place in Wyoming, may be "too much for red-state audiences, but it gives the liberal-leaning Academy a great chance to stick its thumb in conservatives' eyes." Director Ang Lee's movie staring Jake Gyllenhaal and Heath Ledger won the Golden Lion, the top prize at the Venice Film Festival earlier this fall. But will a movie even Madonna calls "shocking" sit with the heartland? Playwright and lifelong Wyomingite tells the STAR-TRIBUNE of Casper this week that she has never encountered a gay cowboy, and doesn't think it's right for Hollywood to portray Wyoming as a state with gay cowboys. Her message to the writers of BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN: “Don't try and take what we had, which was wonderful -- the cowboys that settled the state and made it what it was -- don't ruin that image... There's nothing better than plain old cowboys and the plain old history without embellishing it to suit everyone." Meanwhile, Michell Howard of the state's Travel and Tourism Division says her agency is already hearing a buzz that people in other countries are expressing interest in visiting Wyoming because of the film. “It's gotten rave reviews from the international community,” she said. “I don't know if they're more tolerant or something, but they're viewing it as a great Western movie.” Developing... -----------------------------------------------------------Filed By Matt DrudgeReports are moved when circumstances warranthttp://www.drudgereport.com for updates(c)DRUDGE REPORT 2005
I found this one a web site...and I know I am just as guilty as anyone else of cussing tuckers on the highway for either going to fast or too slow or just getting in my way...but honestly...this says it all and we should all think about it the next time those big rigs get in our way!!!! Shan
WE ARE AMERICAN TRUCKERS...WE COME IN ALL COLORS, SHAPES AND SIZES AND IN BOTH GENDERS. YOU CAN IDENTIFY US BY THE CREASES AROUND OUR EYES FROM SQUINTING TO SEE FAR AHEAD DOWN THE RIBBION OF CONCRETE THAT WE LIVE ON FOR OBSTACLES AND SITUATIONS THAT MIGHT SAVE YOUR LIFE OR MINE, BY THE CALOUSED HANDS WE HAVE FROM YEARS OF HOLDING THE WHEEL STEADY ON ALL TYPES OF ROADS AND IN ALL TYPES OF WEATHER, AND THE PRIDES IN OUR SMILES WHEN ONCE AGAIN, WE DELIVER ON TIME AGAINST ALL ODDS.WE ARE AMERICAN TRUCKERS...WE GIVE UP MUCH TO SERVE YOU AND OUR COUNTRY...WE RARELY GET HOME TO SEE OUR KIDS GROW UP, WE OFTEN LOSE THE LOVE OF OUR SPOUSES AND PARTNERS WHO ARE LEFT TOO MUCH ALONE AND WE WORK LONG HARD HOURS FILLED WITH DANGER AT EVERY TURN. WITHOUT US YOU WOULDN'T HAVE A HOUSE TO SHELTER YOU, FOOD TO EAT, CLOTHES TO WEAR, A CAR TO DRIVE OR MEDICINE WHEN YOU ARE SICK. EVERYTHING YOU HAVE AND USE CAME BY A TRUCK, DRIVEN BY ONE OF USE. WE ARE THE BACK BONE OF THIS NATIONS ECONOMY.WE ARE AMERICAN TRUCKERS...3 MILLION PLUS STRONG, THE MAJORITY OF US ARE DECENT, HARD WORKING, PATRIOTIC PEOPLE WHO WORK UNDER THE STRICTIST REGULATIONS IN THE COUNTRY LAYING OUR LIVES ON THE LINE EVERY MINUTE FOR LITTLE MORE THAN MINIMUM WAGE FOR THE HOURS WE WORK. YET, BECAUSE OF A FEW BAD APPLES, WE ARE REVILED, HATED, FEARED AND USED IN YELLOW JOURNALISM TO PROMOTE HIDDEN AGENDAS BY YOU, THE VERY PEOPLE WE SERVE...STILL WE TRUCK ON.[blue]WE ARE AMERICAN TRUCKERS...WE ARE AS IMPORTANT TO THE COUNTRYS PROSPERITY AND SECURITY AS ANY OTHER PUBLIC SERVANT BE IT POLICE OFFICER, FIREMAN OR POLITIAN. WE ARE PROUD OF OUR JOBS AND OUR HISTORY WHICH IS ROOTED IN THE CARAVANS OF EGYPT AND THE MULE TRAINS OF EARLY AMERICAN HISTORY.WE ARE AMERICAS DRIVING FORCE...WE ARE THE AMERICAN TRUCKERS
More from Last Site
Links Of The Week
http://www.silverjewelryclub.com/
This is a cool site for jewlery....you can get whatever they are posting at the time for 6 bucks...it refreshes every 15 minutes!! Some of their stuff is beautiful and some isn't so nice!!!
http://www.mcloud.k12.ok.us/home.htm
This is a link to the kids school! Lane is in the elementry and Zach and Shelby are in the intermediate! They really should update their pages...but I was told it is in the works! HAHAHA...we will see! Hopefully it will update soon!
http://www.marykay.com/PWS/home.aspx?Moniker=KBERGHAUSER
Anyone intereted in ordering Mary Kay....go here...this lady is wonderful...her name is Karen and she is such a sweetheart!!!! Anyone noticed the new MK commercials on TV...first time in MK history that they have had commercials!!!
www.ratemyteacher.com
Cool site!
http://www.martiallaw911.info/
I have the movie and it is awesome and VERY informative!!! Give it a chance you might just learn something!!!!
This is a cool site for jewlery....you can get whatever they are posting at the time for 6 bucks...it refreshes every 15 minutes!! Some of their stuff is beautiful and some isn't so nice!!!
http://www.mcloud.k12.ok.us/home.htm
This is a link to the kids school! Lane is in the elementry and Zach and Shelby are in the intermediate! They really should update their pages...but I was told it is in the works! HAHAHA...we will see! Hopefully it will update soon!
http://www.marykay.com/PWS/home.aspx?Moniker=KBERGHAUSER
Anyone intereted in ordering Mary Kay....go here...this lady is wonderful...her name is Karen and she is such a sweetheart!!!! Anyone noticed the new MK commercials on TV...first time in MK history that they have had commercials!!!
www.ratemyteacher.com
Cool site!
http://www.martiallaw911.info/
I have the movie and it is awesome and VERY informative!!! Give it a chance you might just learn something!!!!
1. http://tri-lake.tripod.com/ This is our local soccer association. Now remember this is a new association....second year it has been up and going and we are all trying to get pics taken and things done to get the site up and going and looking great! Hope you enjoy!
2. http://www.okfcsoccer.com/ This is the league we are in....it has our schedule in the U-12...at least it is suppose to!!! Hopefully it will show up sometime soon!!!
3. http://www.inforwars.com/ This is my personal favorite place to get the news...because there isn't so much crap in it! I know some of you think I have lost my mind....while others know this is the truth as most don't know it!!! Just check it out and give it a chance....you never know you might actually learn something!!!!
4. http://www.hemophilia.org/ This of course is obvious...but if you have any questions about hemophilia....here are the answers!!!! Gives ya kind of an idea as to what we go through every day!
5. http://amandatveidt.blogspot.com/ Last but certanily not least here is my little sisters blog. As some of you know she is living in Japan right now...going to school....and I wanted t spot light what she is doing because I am very proud of her!!!!
2. http://www.okfcsoccer.com/ This is the league we are in....it has our schedule in the U-12...at least it is suppose to!!! Hopefully it will show up sometime soon!!!
3. http://www.inforwars.com/ This is my personal favorite place to get the news...because there isn't so much crap in it! I know some of you think I have lost my mind....while others know this is the truth as most don't know it!!! Just check it out and give it a chance....you never know you might actually learn something!!!!
4. http://www.hemophilia.org/ This of course is obvious...but if you have any questions about hemophilia....here are the answers!!!! Gives ya kind of an idea as to what we go through every day!
5. http://amandatveidt.blogspot.com/ Last but certanily not least here is my little sisters blog. As some of you know she is living in Japan right now...going to school....and I wanted t spot light what she is doing because I am very proud of her!!!!
I'M BACK
Hello All,
Well as you may have noticed I have not posted my blog in a while....well I have been busy and to be honest it has been the last thing on my mind. I have had to change back to blogger because the place I had my last blog now wants to charge for people to ramble on and on...so whats the point in having to pay for someone to read your thoughts...isn't that why you pay to have the internet in the first place....if I wanted that I would just send out a mass email when I feel like it!
OK now that that is off my chest....Where do I begin...OK Holidays...they are coming up...Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, all those wonderful, stuff you face till you feel like you are gonna explode and feel like a fat ass in January, holidays!! I have had so many people ask me what we are doing to Thanksgiving...and I can't honestly say I want to do a damn thing this year. This is the first year in many many years, that we haven't had all of our friends and family around. Granted DJ's family is here and that is great, we will go to his grandparents and eat, but other than that nothing. We did invite Johnny and Doug for the holiday, but I don't think they are coming...at least I haven't heard a yes but then again I haven't heard a no either. So who knows. This is gonna be the first year in many I have not been with my sister on Thanksgiving, first year in many I haven't cooked 80% of the meal, thank God for Anna and her sweet potatos and broccoli rice cassarole....and desserts! I am gonna miss that...I can honestly say I miss everyone so very much this year! It is so hard when you are soooo used to having everyone around and now it seems bare to me. Zachary is going to Texas for the holiday...this way I get him for Christmas....had to prioratize this one! LOL OK Off the pitty pot....
Denise turned 20 yesterday...which made me start thinking about when I was 20...what a hellish time...nope wouldn't go back to it for nothin....ok well maybe there are a few nights I would like to revisit! LOL I am really proud of her and how she is doing. Hurts that I can't be there with her or she here with me....She turned 20 yesterday and she moves into her very own place this weekend! Her first place....yes I have been fighting back the tears...no it hasn't been working! I know some of you might say well she is just your little sister, but in the grand scheme of things, when it really comes down to it....Amanda and Denise are all I have left of childhood....you know those little things that follow you though life...well they are mine. No more parents, I really don't have any friends left that I still speak to on a regular basis from that era of my life, well if I really wanna be honest, they are all I have left of my mother. Good or bad, and as some of you know I haven't been having good thoughts of her lately, WE three are all WE have left of Mom! For better or worse! HAHA!!! It is strange because I see them growing into women and I know Mom would be proud...she would critisize our decissions to the other two...but she would be proud! Amanda being the world travler she is...I watch her grow more every day...Japan may be the best thing she could have done! And Denise...finally on her own...learning those hard ass lessons of life...like you gotta pay the rent before you go to the bar! LOL I am amazed every day at the both of them....against it all they are both really becomming their own person.
OK enough gushy stuff for now!!!
I will write more later!! The kids are great...little on the sickly side but they are doing fine! We have a soccer game today..and yes we have actually won ONE game this year...have a feeling it will be the only game this year...but who cares...they are all having fun!!! Talk to you all soon! Shan
Well as you may have noticed I have not posted my blog in a while....well I have been busy and to be honest it has been the last thing on my mind. I have had to change back to blogger because the place I had my last blog now wants to charge for people to ramble on and on...so whats the point in having to pay for someone to read your thoughts...isn't that why you pay to have the internet in the first place....if I wanted that I would just send out a mass email when I feel like it!
OK now that that is off my chest....Where do I begin...OK Holidays...they are coming up...Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, all those wonderful, stuff you face till you feel like you are gonna explode and feel like a fat ass in January, holidays!! I have had so many people ask me what we are doing to Thanksgiving...and I can't honestly say I want to do a damn thing this year. This is the first year in many many years, that we haven't had all of our friends and family around. Granted DJ's family is here and that is great, we will go to his grandparents and eat, but other than that nothing. We did invite Johnny and Doug for the holiday, but I don't think they are coming...at least I haven't heard a yes but then again I haven't heard a no either. So who knows. This is gonna be the first year in many I have not been with my sister on Thanksgiving, first year in many I haven't cooked 80% of the meal, thank God for Anna and her sweet potatos and broccoli rice cassarole....and desserts! I am gonna miss that...I can honestly say I miss everyone so very much this year! It is so hard when you are soooo used to having everyone around and now it seems bare to me. Zachary is going to Texas for the holiday...this way I get him for Christmas....had to prioratize this one! LOL OK Off the pitty pot....
Denise turned 20 yesterday...which made me start thinking about when I was 20...what a hellish time...nope wouldn't go back to it for nothin....ok well maybe there are a few nights I would like to revisit! LOL I am really proud of her and how she is doing. Hurts that I can't be there with her or she here with me....She turned 20 yesterday and she moves into her very own place this weekend! Her first place....yes I have been fighting back the tears...no it hasn't been working! I know some of you might say well she is just your little sister, but in the grand scheme of things, when it really comes down to it....Amanda and Denise are all I have left of childhood....you know those little things that follow you though life...well they are mine. No more parents, I really don't have any friends left that I still speak to on a regular basis from that era of my life, well if I really wanna be honest, they are all I have left of my mother. Good or bad, and as some of you know I haven't been having good thoughts of her lately, WE three are all WE have left of Mom! For better or worse! HAHA!!! It is strange because I see them growing into women and I know Mom would be proud...she would critisize our decissions to the other two...but she would be proud! Amanda being the world travler she is...I watch her grow more every day...Japan may be the best thing she could have done! And Denise...finally on her own...learning those hard ass lessons of life...like you gotta pay the rent before you go to the bar! LOL I am amazed every day at the both of them....against it all they are both really becomming their own person.
OK enough gushy stuff for now!!!
I will write more later!! The kids are great...little on the sickly side but they are doing fine! We have a soccer game today..and yes we have actually won ONE game this year...have a feeling it will be the only game this year...but who cares...they are all having fun!!! Talk to you all soon! Shan
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