Hello Everyone!
I have been thinking a lot the past couple of days about the people in my life and how much my life has changed this past year and how much I know it is going to change even more with the new year approaching. Well I got bored as usual.....because there is no good TV on and the radio sucks after 9am and I have loads of work to do in the office so I figured I would get out all those gillions of CDs I have made over the last year or two. Well I got to really listening to them and paying attention to them and I figured something out....when I was making those I had to have had one person in mind when I made 99% of them. Or a certain group of people. My mom and my sisters are the most important woman I will ever have from the time I can remember till I can't remember anymore! My daughter will become part of the group someday...right now she is the most important young lady in my life. I was looking at her this morning...with those beautiful blue eyes and her hair done just so...and I realized that I was looking her square in the eye....she had on her tennis shoes...I had on mine...and here is my precious little baby girl, the only baby girl I will ever be blessed with and she is damn near full grown! Yes she is only 10 but when you start looking your kid in the eye...makes you wonder where the hell all the time went! It won't be long, and she will not have ANY time for me at all...I remember those days. Then I put in this CD after I got them off to school and here are songs that remind me of my mom....Close to you...by the Carpenters....Lmbo...she used to get so excited when this song would come on the radio...she would grab my face and sing away...coffee breath and menthol ciggs...still can't smell the combo and not tear up!
Why do birds suddenly appear
Every time you are near?
Just like me, they long to be
Close to you.
Why do stars fall down from the sky
Every time you walk by?
Just like me, they long to be
Close to you.
On the day that you were born
The angels got together
And decided to create a dream come true
So they sprinkled moon dust in your hair of gold
And starlight in your eyes of blue.
That is why all the girls in town
Follow you all around.
Just like me, they long to be
Close to you.
On the day that you were born
The angels got together
And decided to create a dream come true
So they sprinkled moon dust in your hair of gold
And starlight in your eyes of blue.
That is why all the girls in town
Follow you all around.
Just like me, they long to be
Close to you.
Just like me (Just like me)
They long to be
Close to you.
Wahhhhhhhhhhh, close to you.
Wahhhhhhhhhhh, close to you.
Hahhhhhhhhhhh, close to you.
Lahhhhhhhhhhh, close to you.
Why my mother loved that song to me is going to be one of the great mysteries that come along with what she left behind. My mother left behind three girls who are very stubborn and strong headed believe all men are pigs, but pigs need love too! Three grown woman now. She didn't get to see that happen. She sees whereever she is I am sure of it...or maybe not...that is another one of those mysteries I was talking about....who knows what happens when you die and where you go. I would like to believe if there is a heaven she found her way there. If not...I just don't know! Then here comes this song that Oh wow...I think of so many people when I hear this song....one gentleman in paticular who has become the bestest friend I have ever had in my life....I can tell him anything and he never judges me or expects any more of me than what I am! Knows my family very well....DJ hates the fact that I have him as a friend, not sure why...maybe inimidated maybe scared, maybe I dunno! Maybe because of his intimate relationships with both of my sisters, who knows. BUT you know how there is one person in the world that just gets you and you get them....well this is that person....Lord only knows why! And he is also the only person I know that is allowed to call me a bitch! LOL Well DJ does sometimes and usually gets away with it...but only when I KNOW I am being one! I think of him everytime I hear this song....just because if it weren't for him I would have never paid attention to this song...he broken heart about one of my sisters spawned a love affair with this album for him and I began to listen to just see what my friend was going though and maybe some way I could help him.....but I also think of my sisters...and my mom....it is just a beautiful song...PERIOD DOT...but then again 3 doors down doesn't do bad songs......
Here Without You
(Music by Arnold, Roberts & Harrell)
A hundred days have made me olderSince the last time that I saw your pretty faceA thousand lies have made me colderAnd I don't think I can look at this the same
All the miles that separateDisappear now when I'm dreamin' of your faceI'm here without you babyBut you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the timeI'm here without you babyBut you're still with me in my dreamsAnd tonight, there's only you and me.
The miles just keep rollin'As the people leave their way to say helloI've heard this life is overratedBut I hope that it gets better as we go.
I'm here without you babyBut you're still on my lonely mindI think about you baby and I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you babyBut you're still with me in my dreamsAnd tonight girl, there's only you and me.
Everything I know, and anywhere I goIt gets hard but it won't take away my loveAnd when the last one falls, when it's all said and done.It gets hard but it won't take away my love
I'm here without you babyBut you're still on my lonely mindI think about you baby and I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you babyBut you're still with me in my dreamsAnd tonight girl, there's only you and me
Then here comes Five for Fightings song...100 years...and that is where my daughter comes in....since the moment I heard this song I have thought of her....she is so full of life at 10 and has so much to go though just yet...and I know the heartbreak and the let downs and such will be there BUT I also know the wonderment of life too..the special moments, becoming a woman, becomming a wife and a mother....becomming part of a sisterhood of woman....and I pray every day I get to see her do all of that. My mother didn't get to see my sisters do all that...and that is hard for me to deal with....and I feel so blessed that she did get to see all of that happen for me...guess there was a reason for starting so early! LOL I just hope when the day comes for Amanda and Denise that they know that I am there for them! 
100 Years
I'm 15 for a momentCaught in between 10 and 20And I'm just dreamingCounting the ways to where you are
I'm 22 for a momentShe feels better than everAnd we're on fireMaking our way back from Mars
15… there's still time for youTime to buy and time to lose15…there's never a wish better than thisWhen you only got 100 years to live…
I'm 33 for a momentStill the man but you see I'm a theyA kid on the wayA family on my mind
I'm 45 for a momentThe sea is highAnd I'm heading into a crisisChasing the years of my life
15… there's still time for youTime to buy and time to lose yourselfWithin a morning star
15… I'm all right with you15… there's never a wish better than thisWhen you only got 100 years to live…
Half time goes bySuddenly you’re wiseAnother blink of an eye67 is goneThe sun is getting highWe're moving on...
I'm 99 for a momentDying for just another momentAnd I'm just dreamingCounting the ways to where you are
15… there's still time for you22… I feel her too33… you’re on your wayEvery Day's a new Day
15… there's still time for youTime to buy and time to chooseHey 15… there's never a wish better than thisWhen you only got 100 years to live
The next song on that CD reminds me totally of Amanda....if you dont know Amanda....boy are you missing out...LMAO!!!! As any of you who know me know me as a talker...well magnify me by about 20% and you have Amanda....She talks like she is from the Valley! LMAO...haha!!! But she is a good kid. I say kid because I remember the day she was born...and how tiny she was...she is still tiny...the shortest one of the three of us...BUT she has the biggest set of tatas you have ever seen! No just kidding...the second! I love to to peices though! Big boned and all! HA! Amanda left home when she was 13...never to return! Not that it was a bad thing...it was actually the bes thing for her. I could go into it all but for her sake I wont! That and you never really know what the truth is with her! Just when you think you got her figured out..she does something that totally defies everything you think of her! Go figure she is one of us.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/amandatveidt/
She talks to Angels
Black Crows
She never mentions the word addictionIn certain companyYes, she’ll tell you she’s an orphanAfter you meet her familyShe paints her eyes as black as night, nowPulls those shades down tightYeah, she gives a smile when the pain comes,The pain’s gonna make everything alrightSays she talks to angels,They call her out by her nameShe talks to angels,Says they call her out by her nameShe keeps a lock of hair in her pocketShe wears a cross around her neckYes, the hair is from a little boyAnd the cross is someone she has not met, not yetSays she talks to angels,Says they all know her nameOh yeah, she talks to angels,Says they call her out by her nameShe don’t know no lover,None that I ever seenYes, to her that ain’t nothingBut to me, yeah me,It’s everythingShe paints her eyes as black as night nowShe pulls those shades down tightOh yeah, there’s a smile when the pain comes,The pain’s gonna make everything alright, alright yeahShe talks to angels,Says they call her out by her nameOh yeah, yeah, angelsCall her out by her nameOh, angelsThey call her out by her nameOh, she talks to angelsThey call her outYeah, they call her outDon’t you know that they call her out by her name
The next one of course would be about Denise....my baby sister...the little one...the quiet one..that is till you piss her off then she can't' shut up! Which is ok because I can out talk her still! She turned 20 this November..heartbreaking that we couldn't be together...in fact we didn't even speak on the phone it was just to hard. She and I have a bond that is unmistakeable. Maybe years of living together have something to do with that. After her parents divorced and she ping ponged back and forth she finally landed at my house...and for years she was there...God I miss her so very much! Not that I don't miss Amanda, but I have had oh what it is it now...almost 10 years to get used to the idea that she isn't gonna be around..that and she was much better off where she went....now she lives in Japan...well at least I think she does..I haven't spoken to her in weeks so who knows where she is now! The moon! OK back to Necy Nay! Between boyfriends, kids, husbands (ok well I am the only one married) and all that jazz we have always been together. I begged her to move to Oklahoma with us....but we both knew it wasn't gonna happen. It was time for her to be cut loose and to become an adult! She has her own place now...with a guy who is a sweetheart...and I hope for her happiness everyday. We don't speak all that often...I could call all the time, but I know how she is...unless it is dire need she isnt gonna call...and I am not gonna bug...don't want to be the overbearing bitch ya know! HAHA!!! Back to that bond thing....the day I got the call that our mother died, the second I hung up the phone...she called me and I composed myself enough to say hello...and she said IMMEDIATLY whats wrong...I said what do you mean...she said she had woke up and she knows something is wrong AM I OK!?! I have to say that was the hardest conversation I have ever had in my entire life!!!! I told her to wait there I would be there in a minute we needed to talk...telling her was heatwrenching...since she was moms favorite, yes I am ok with that...and they were the closest! I love her as much as I love my kiddos...anyway...here is hers
(yes I know not the most flattering pic, but the true Necy Nay)
Meet Virginia-Train
She doesn't own a dressHer hair is always a mess, You catch her stealin' she won't confessShe's Beautiful.Smokes a pack a day, but wait, That's me, but anywayShe doesn't care a thing About that hair,She thinks I'm beautifulMeet VirginiaShe never comprimises,Loves babies and surprises,wears high heels whenshe exercisesAin't it beautuifulMeet VirginiaWell she wants to be the QueenThen she thinks about her scenePulls her hair back as she screams"I don't really wanna be the Queen"Daddy wrestles alligatorsMama works on carboratorsHer brother is a fine mediator For the presidentAnd here she is again on the phonejust like me hates to be alonewe just like to sit at homeand rip on the PresidentMeet Virginia, Mmmm...Well she wants to live her lifeThen she thinks about her lifePulls her hair back, as she screams"I don't really wanna live this life"She only drinks coffee at midnightWhen the moment is not right Her timing is quite, unusualYou see her confidence is tragic, but herIntuition magic And the shape of her body?UnusualMeet Virgina I can't wait toMeet Virginia, yeah e yeah hey hey heyWell she wants to be the queen and then she thinks about her scene Well she wants to live her lifethen she thinks about her lifePulls her hair back as she screams "I don't really wanna be the queen"I, I don't really wanna be the queenI, I don't really wanna be the queenI, I don't really wanna live this
Well that is about it for now...this is gonna run long and it is just me rambling on and on! Emotions are running high today with my family and the kids are gonna be home soon so I better go! Shan