Nascar Sunda

Well it is sunday and as all of you know it is NASCAR day! Although I am deeply saddened that I am going to miss half the race due to a soccer game...which honestly pisses me off...but I will do my best to record it..yeah remember VCRs?? I still have one...I think I might have a take around here to use too! LOL

OK well it is Dale Earnhardt day at Talladega. The reason for this is Dale is the winning racer at this track with 10 victories there. His last being oct 15 2000! Now listen I wasn't a big fan of his...in fact there were times he honestly pissed me off. But he was what he was and that is the sports number one driver! Good bad ugly didn't matter he was it! And he is saddly missed by many!!!

OK Now....onto the race...Looks like Elliot Sadler got the pole on this one....I don't have much to say about him other than this is his 3rd pole in 6 starts at this track...so maybe this is his time! They say third times a charm!

Now JJ Yelly who honestly is a good driver, just I think he is a rookie and gets ahead of himself at times....hence all the spin outs lately. He qualified in 11th position! And I surely hope he does well considering this is the first time he has ever sat in this paticular car!!! I wish Gibbs Racing the best! (yes Judys that was for you) But I really do...as long as they come in behind KK!!!!! LOL
Although I gotta say Tony is kickin ass this year!!! And gotta love that! I know you either love him or you hate him...gee...isn't that the way one of the greatest legends in racing that is being honored this weekend is thought of? HMMMM.....And Tony has NO wins in Dega.....so maybe it is time!!!

OK the rest of the top 5 is Carl Edwards, Dale Jarrett and Kurt Busch, whom I say still is a leperchan! And an ass to boot...a couple of weeks ago he got into the back of Biffle...their girlfriends had words, BFD man can you imagine how many cat fights there have been in the pit...this one just happened to have been shown on TV...who gives a shit...I can honestly say had I been Biffs gal I would have been that pissed too!! Busch saying oh I was just trying to stay out of the way I was a lap car...BLAH bull shit....he is a back stabbing son of a bitch! PERIOD DOT...and if ya wanna know how I really feel about him just ask! LMAO!!!!


There are 4 rookies in the top 20...which is awesome! Truex Jr won the Busch race yesterday...which is awesome, and I know my dear husband is a HUGE DEI supporter...but hoenstly this man looks like a big fuckwad to me....what do ya think?

The other three rookies are JJ as I mentioned earlier Clint Bowyer and Dave Stremme.
Rounding out the 43 car field is Dale Jr in the 27th position, Hamlin in the 30th position, and Kasey Kahne in the 37th position! Which I am not sure what happened there...who knows...but short tracks don't seem to be as good for Kahne or Hamlin! But we will see!!!!

Now I need to touch on what DEI is doing to honor Dale Sr...this is Jrs car this week....I hope it brings him luck.




Boogity Boogity Boogity Lets go racing people!!!!

Let me Clarify

OK OK OK...listen closely!
I was not trying to say that every cop on the planet is bad....is dirty or is whatever else I had some people down my throat for!

MY whole point in this is just what Jenny Joe commented on.....If they have the time to sit at a check point and make sure I have insurance then they have time to "walk to beat" and make sure that child sex offenders aren't living across the street from schools....they have time to look at pawn shops for stolen merchandise.....they have time to bust crack houses and drug dealers! Seriously people....wouldn't money and time be better spent doing things like this?

I was watching an episode of cops the other day and the cop said...yano this job doesn't pay that much, it isn't the most rewarding, most of the people you deal with hate you....BINGO right there that is when it hit me...well it is because SOOOO many people see cops as being harassers and not protectors! When you get your car stolen they say oh well, when you get mugged and your identity stolen OH WELL...I saw one woman who 10 years after her wallet was stolen is still trying to get her life straightened out. And all the police will tell her is hope ya don't get pulled over because this other woman claiming to be you has broken so many laws!
Granted that was a bad example....this is lawmakers who need to do something different! I know cops deal with a lot of liars and theives and bullshitters! BUT I would like to once get pulled over or have a dealing with a cop, that I havent known for years, and not feel like i am on trial! To not feel as if I am guilty and I have to fight them, the system and all to prove my innocence! THAT is not the way our system was set up, but that is what it has become!

I do feel sorry for cops.....half the time they cannot arrest the correct person because of protocals and legal bull.....they might hurt someones feelings...but I also feel as if they have been trained in a sense to desensitize themselves from being human beings! And that is what gets under my skin the most! Then there is that other half of good cop who tries to do the right thing and do good and gets shot and killed for it! And for what...because some total hunk of shit had a bag of dope on him that would have gotten him a slap on the wrist!


This is my segway...does it work.....Immigration! OK NOW Those who have known me for years know I grew up where there were mexicans...and not all of them were legal....they became that way....but they didn't start out that way! And some that I know that started out illegal went into the military and have put their lives on the line for this country! (I won't say fought because there was no enemy till we created one)! These men, because they are men now......I admire...their parents brought them over here and they could have hidden in plain site for years and years as illegals...BUT they didn't....they went though the proper channels....they did the right thing...just as my great grandparents did when they came to this country!

BUT now you have these other illegals that jump the fence, cross the river, whatever they do to get here...and now they are here and it is a problem. Yes they say that they will do the jobs most americans feel they are to good to do...BULLSHIT....they will do the jobs cheaper than most americans feel they should! BUT with that cheaper labor what are you getting? A society that breeds like rabbits.....and since their children are born here they get to stay! BUT at what price? What is the cost for that cheap labor? Welfare, they all want something for NOTHING!

NOW listen I have had to deal with the welfare system since my son was born.....he has a medical condition where no private insurance will take him and the few that will have outlandish costs to go with it, so we had to turn to Medicaid....no cap, because it is $20,000 a month for meds and supplies. I hate going in those places. You go in you are under a microscope, and since you last name isn't alibbaba mexican you are denied! Total bogus bull shit...NOW this is in Texas In OK it has been somewhat different.
I lived in the central panhandle of Texas NOT Larado or El Paso! I was in there the last time...was 15 minutes early to my appointment....sign in...give them my "papers" and sit and wait...a few minutes goes by and in walks this mexican woman...I had seen her pull in in a brand new gas guzzlin jacked up lookin like total shit dodge pick up...and in walks in with her 8 kids...I am not shittin you 8! All in Nike shoes, starter jackets...name brand nice clothes and she had rings dripping off of her....hair done nails done the works! Starts raising a stink because her food stamps got cut by 15 bucks! 15 bucks....and in spanish the social worker tells her what I can only assume is to sit and wait and out comes this other social worker, within a couple of minutes....speaking english this time, tells her there was a mistake and they should have uped it by 100 bucks....and they go on their merry way! Well I wait another 30 minutes and finally get called back...it is the same caseworker that talked to the mexican woman.
This woman tells me at the end of our interview...your husband makes to much money to keep your youngest son on medicaid....I of course was shocked....I was like wait a minute....he only makes X amount...and our bills are X amount...well your car payment is only allowed to be this much...I said WAIT A DAMN minute...you are telling me I drive an older car that that woman who just came in here and I speak ENGLISH and my husband works for a living and We don't get benifits because our car payment is to high? Among other things yes! Basically if he and I were to divorce and walk away from each other I could have ANYTHING I wanted! 700 bucks worth of food stamps...medical for all three of my kids, medical for me....state paid child support...the works!
It is a systematic breakdown of a family! We didn't stand for it...we considered it but said hell now! We will find another way! I appealed and appealed the appeal......he could get a lower paying job, but then we wouldn't be able to pay our bills.....they said well we have assistance for that...I DO NOT WANT your assistance I WANT to pay my own way thank you! Just want help with the meds...that is all we wanted! They refused us to the point of our last appeal hearing the caseworker looked us in the eye and said and I quote..."Wait a few more months till you are married 10 years and if you never get married again you can draw on each others social security when the other dies!"yep she actually said that to us! We were appaled and disgusted! This is how we ended up in Oklahoma!

OK I am gonna stop now because it boils my blood to see this happening and it isn't just us this has happened too! There are many many horror stories like this! I knew one couple that did get a divorce so she could get help in paying for her cancer treatements.....it is just shit! These people come in and take over.....and think we owe them something! I was born here my parents were born here my parents parents were born here...all people who paid into the system to help LEGAL AMERICANS get the help they need and now they can't get it because the system is so cluttered with illegals! Total HORSE SHIT!

OK Its Friday....

I wanted to blog about a lot of things, but when I woke up this morning there was a commercial on TV...because yes I do sleep with the TV on...yes I know it isnt good for you to do that, but I like the noise!

OK I had planned on blogging about friends and people and things...BUT This commercial pisses me off....for starters MOST of you know I don't agree with a lot seen on TV because I am not a TV watcher per say but one that has it on for noise...and on really good days the damn thing doesn't even come on till late in the evening. Well on comes this commerical I have seen a dozen times...it is for a car insurance company...Safe Auto......not a bad company and it is the law that you have insurance on your car! I don't disagree with that and being someone who has had to deal with not having insurance, it is better to have it...WAY cheeper than a ticket!

OK on this commecial is this road block...one of those checkpoints, which I think is a bunch of bogus BULL SHIT!!! I don't agree with them at all. NOW listen someone escapes from prison, yeah set up one, someone is snipping people out of home depot parking lots, GO AHEAD....but to check insurance and registration...HEY COP....do the leg work....I personally have had to deal with my fair share since we have lived here in this state! I HATE THEM...it is entrapment..

OK before I get a few people going off on me let me say this....I know the cop has a job to do, but to me this isn't him doing his job! They are here, we as taxpayers pay them, and I don't feel as if I should have to pay them to harass me! Yes yes yes I know I am gonna hear it but this is how I feel! This shit does not go on in Texas, Oh no they cannot do that! It is entrapment and there are serious laws against it...BUT what they will do is set up these survey points....where they stop you and three or four cops surround your car and one says we would like to survey you on what you think of the roads and if you think we are doing a good job! and if you say no...wow there is their probable cause right there YOU must have something to hide if you don't want to talk to them! How about I am on the way to go do something and I need to go! I am late for work, I am late pickin up my kid, anything NOPE You had better have time to have them basically question you in the middle of the road! It is nonsense!

Come on people think about it! We fought Hitler for shit just like this...they started out doing this same shit to people! THINK ABOUT IT....don't close your mind and honestly think about it think about all you know! Think about how it makes you feel to be pulled aside by this shit and be questioned...doesn't matter that you dont have anything to hide! Cops are there to protect and serve....who are they protecting...who are they serving? Remember when cops wore brown and blue and real shoes...not black and combat boots? What the hell has happened?

OK Back to this commercial.....the guy pulls up there and he says is there a problem and this girl who doesn't even look like she is old enough to cut her own meat says oh it is just a routine check point....license and insurance please....he says did you say insurance...she says YOU do have insurance RIGHT! And is real shitty about it...he says yeah here...she looks at it and then turns it into the commercial for the auto insurance place....but her deminor and attitude is shitty and I don't like it! BUT I have been in that place where they are like that to ya....WHAT IS GOING ON WITH OUT COUNTRY? Where this is ok......

I mentioned this to someone the other day and they said and I quote OH I like those. And dont' get me wrong because I know this person is going to read this and go YOU BITCH, I wont mention names, but I was saddened that this person liked the road blocks, check points whatever. The gastapo would stop people in the street and ask for their papers, who is this any different?
Some people may say Oh there goes Shannon and her radical thinking again! NO people this isnt' radical thinking..this is common sense....LOOK at it! Think about it...make your own choice on what you think and just because you may come to a different conclusion than I do doesn't mean you are a bad person, it just means that you see if differently!

HONESTLY I want to see the good in people Cops too...because they are human beings just as we are....and they have to follow their orders and do their job just as a nurse or a waitress would! I am talking about the people who put this shit in motion....the people behind them that make this ok.....this isn't OK!

Immigration is a hot button issue right now...and you would think more Americans who have lost their livelyhoods to NAFTA and GATT would be pissed and be protesting and stand up and say DON"T DO THIS...NO MORE...yes equal oppertunity and all that but DAMN IT they are not just doing the job We as Americans won't do...they are taking over jobs in their own country because big business sees it as more of a profit to pay little to nothing in another country! Then when they can't make it over there they come here ILLEGALLY!!! They aren't just taking jobs over there they are taking jobs over here. Yeah cheeper labor here too but what is the other side of it...they are costing again..welfare they have 10 kids and they all have to eat, well on the little that is paid to them they have to go on welfare....so there it is costing us all again....and healthcare, you cannot deny someone who is sick...who pays that cost? Right again....welfare, who pays welfare LEGAL taxpayers!

OK I am gonna stop ranting...I hope in some way my rambling here has gotten at least ONE person to think about things! We all get so wrapped up in American Idol and Who is gonna be the next Apprentience and we don't pay attention to what is happening around us! WAKE UP please before it is to late!

Shannon

www.whatreallyhappened.com


PS yes I know I didn't spell some of it right and I know I didn't put it all together as well as I should have but you get the picture!!!!!

Check this out from Boston Legal!

Alan Shore's closing argument Alan Shore: When the weapons of mass destruction thing turned out to be not true, I expected the American people to rise up. Ha! They didn't. Then, when the Abu Ghraib torture thing surfaced and it was revealed that our government participated in rendition, a practice where we kidnap people and turn them over to regimes who specialize in torture, I was sure then the American people would be heard from. We stood mute. Then came the news that we jailed thousands of so-called terrorists suspects, locked them up without the right to a trial or even the right to confront their accusers. Certainly, we would never stand for that. We did. And now, it's been discovered the executive branch has been conducting massive, illegal, domestic surveillance on its own citizens. You and me. And I at least consoled myself that finally, finally the American people will have had enough. Evidentially, we haven't. In fact, if the people of this country have spoken, the message is we're okay with it all. Torture, warrantless search and seizure, illegal wiretappings, prison without a fair trial - or any trial, war on false pretenses. We, as a citizenry, are apparently not offended. There are no demonstrations on college campuses. In fact, there's no clear indication that young people seem to notice. Well, Melissa Hughes noticed. Now, you might think, instead of withholding her taxes, she could have protested the old fashioned way. Made a placard and demonstrated at a Presidential or Vice-Presidential appearance, but we've lost the right to that as well. The Secret Service can now declare free speech zones to contain, control and, in effect, criminalize protest. Stop for a second and try to fathom that. At a presidential rally, parade or appearance, if you have on a supportive t-shirt, you can be there. If you are wearing or carrying something in protest, you can be removed. This, in the United States of America. This in the United States of America. Is Melissa Hughes the only one embarrassed? *Alan sits down abruptly in the witness chair next to the judge* Judge Robert Sanders: Mr. Shore. That's a chair for witnesses only. Really long speeches make me so tired sometimes. Judge Sanders: Please get out of the chair. Alan: Actually, I'm sick and tired. Judge Sanders: Get out of the chair! Alan: And what I'm most sick and tired of is how every time somebody disagrees with how the government is running things, he or she is labeled unAmerican. U.S. Attorney Jonathan Shapiro: Evidentally, it's speech time. Alan: And speech in this country is free, you hack! Free for me, free for you. Free for Melissa Hughes to stand up to her government and say "Stick it"! U.S. Attorney Jonathan Shapiro: Objection! Alan: I object to government abusing its power to squash the constitutional freedoms of its citizenry. And, God forbid, anybody challenge it. They're smeared as being a heretic. Melissa Hughes is an American. Melissa Hughes is an American. Melissa Hughes is an American! Judge Sanders: Mr. Shore. Unless you have anything new and fresh to say, please sit down. You've breached the decorum of my courtroom with all this hooting. Alan: Last night, I went to bed with a book. Not as much fun as a 29 year old, but the book contained a speech by Adlai Stevenson. The year was 1952. He said, "The tragedy of our day is the climate of fear in which we live and fear breeds repression. Too often, sinister threats to the Bill of Rights, to freedom of the mind are concealed under the patriotic cloak of anti-Communism." Today, it's the cloak of anti-terrorism. Stevenson also remarked, "It's far easier to fight for principles than to live up to them." I know we are all afraid, but the Bill of Rights - we have to live up to that. We simply must. That's all Melissa Hughes was trying to say. She was speaking for you. I would ask you now to go back to that room and speak for her. Watch closing arguments from "Stick It" (6:40) / wm stream; 340 bitrate / no downloads "It's far easier to fight for principles, than to live up to them."

A special thanks!

First and foremost I want to say that the last two months have been some of the hardest in our life...and I don't think it is all over with just yet...but the bulk of the crap is......with that said

THANK YOU ANNA!




You honestly saved my ass on this one! I will repay you and not let ya down! I know it took a lot for you to say ok...I know it did and for that I am soooo greatful!!!! Love ya loads!!! We will get that book written some day and no worries for anyone after that!!! Dysfunction Junction here we come! Well in memory only screw going back! LMAO!!!!!!

I am sorry BUT

This is

GREEN COVE SPRINGS, Fla. (April 25) - A woman in a wheelchair who swung knives and a hammer at relatives and police died after being shocked by a stun gun, officials said.

Police tried to talk Emily Marie Delafield, 56, into dropping the weapons before they used the Taser to subdue her Monday, Police Chief Robert Musco said. Delafield lost consciousness after the electric jolt and later died at Orange Park Medical Center.

The Florida Department of Law Enforcement is investigating and an autopsy will be conducted to determine a cause of death.

The two officers involved have been put on paid administrative leave during the investigation, which is standard procedure.

Tasers deliver a 50,000-volt jolt through two barbed darts that can penetrate clothing. About 7,000 of the nation's 18,000 police agencies had them last year, and they were used by police more than 70,000 times.

Amnesty International counted 61 U.S. deaths following Taser use last year. Taser International officials disputed that count, saying it linked some deaths to Taser use when there had been no such official conclusion

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Now I know she had knives and such but DAMN IT...kill the woman in a wheelchair...come on how much damage could she have done to anyone BUT herself!!!! GET out of her way GET away from her to a point where she can't get you and calm her down....I know cops have a job to do...and I know they are trained to do this...isn't necessarly their fault...I believe they have been trained WRONG on how to use these damn things! OK Just my thought!

News News News!

Yes this is in Oklahoma....about 30-45 miles from the house last night! We watched this happen on TV...amazing how things have changed with weather reporting in the last couple of years. Well here I know there are more tornados then there are back home so they get the choppers up and going here quickly so we can all see what is happening and where it is going. Yes this one was skinny and didn't really do a lot of damage...but we did watch it hit two airplane hangers...and WOW it almost tripled in size when it it....


Not much else is going on around here...well yeah there is a lot but since I got sidetracked it is going to have to wait!!! DAMN IT!!! LOL Talk to you all soon! And don't forget to leave your comments....I like reading them...gets conversation started!
Shan!

The New Truck

I just gotta say right off...Ann asked me yesterday when she called and I was cleaning out DJs truck if I was OCD.....waiting waiting waiting...ok are y'all done laughing? Yes those who know me swear I am when it comes to some things. Personally I know I am not...because I can let certain things go....some things just aren't that big of a deal....waiting waiting waiting....stop laughing...see I don't have a problem I am totally aware that I am nuts! LMAO!!!!!! Yes I cleaned it out...I put new sheets and lysoled the bed, I put all of his stuff in there...this way it feels a little more homy! I have been out in the truck for a couple weeks at a time and I know what it is like to have to a small part of home! OK now with all that said.......

Here is the truck......

Yes that is shelby in the drivers seat...she had to get up there and check it out when I was cleaning it and putting all of his things in there! Doesn't she look cute up there? Her daddy said no way in well you know where is she gonna be a trucker or marry a trucker! He knows how he is...I suppose he doesn't want that for his daughter...personally I don't see a problem with that...but then again look what I have done! LOL
Here are a few more...this is me cleaning the dash...Shelby loves taking pics as much as mom does! And this is the dash...I know I know seen one seen them all...but this has to be one of the niceset trucks he has ever had...and I have to brag because well it is my job! LOL

OK well there are more pics...BUT I have got to get going right now...gotta get the kids up and going! Please everyone pray for us today...I have till today to get all the bills paid before the eviction takes place and the phone and electricity gets cut off! Need a miracle!!!! As Kaci says breathe live into it! I will NOT lose my house, my phone or electricity.....sometimes I wished I had her faith! LOL BUT I am going to do my best with it!!! Love to all! Shan

Little Sister

My Little sister

As all of you know I have two sisters. Amanda and Denise. Amanda is 7 years younger than I am and denise is 9!

When I was 15 I moved out of the house and things pretty much went to crap with my sisters, well for a while that is till I wasn’t the bad sis anymore! *insert eye roll*

Amanda moved out of moms house when she was 14 and moved to Idaho….well at this time I had been gone for a while and didn’t realize just how bad shit was for her. She made her choices which I believe were the best for her!

That left Denise to be stuck in the middle of mom and dad and their divorce. She didn’t handle it well…buy this time she was 13 and hormones and woman in our family just don’t handle that stuff well…. Anyways after a few years of going back and forth from mom and dad and their new people in their lives….she decided to come and live with me. Which was great.

We bumped heads and such for the most part things were good though. She was going though the aches and pains of growing up and figuring shit out….we needed each other. BUT then we began WE not just me or her WE began to take advantage of each other….she couldn’t take it anymore so I backed off….let her be a kid. Then she went with mom to Idaho for a month or two….which was great….they needed that I sure couldn’t have done it! Being the uptight one of the group! LOL

She came back and we all were living happly ever after until the morning of January 5^th! Then our lives BLEW UP! She lost the one person I think she felt got her….and I lost the one person I knew didn’t get me but pushed me to be what I was! And that at the time had to be the best of everything!

I can honestly say…that conversation was the hardest one I have ever had to have in my whole life. She knew something was wrong and I put the damn thing off as long as I could! She did take it better than I thought she would! If any of you have ever had to have the conversation with a sibling you know how awful it is. I saw the rest of her innocence die that day. I saw an anger well up in her that I had never seen before, but surely felt as much as she did. We had the same mom, but we didn’t! So our griefs were totally different! But there was one thing that was exactly the same….that was the day that changed OUR lives forever and we will never be who we were when we woke up that morning. She and I have since talked about it and we both know there is a lot there that neither one of us has dealt with. And I am not sure it is in us to deal with it.

Let me tell ya a thing or two about our mom. She taught us to smile even when you don’t want to. She told us all men were worthless pigs. She did try with us, but her feelings on life and how distorted she was about things really rubbed off on us! So when you are around us and stupid shit flies out of our mouths please know…we are trying to change our programming!

Anyways months after mom died things came to a head with her…and we fought…and not that I am throwing you out of the house bull shit….it was knock down drag out fight! Something neither one of us are proud of. I know I am not! It was wrong…we used violence to deal with one another…her inabliltiy to take anything serious and my inability to realize she didn’t need me to be her mom…she needed me to be her sister! Which I hope I have done a better job of it since!

When we decided to move to Oklahoma, it wasn’t an easy thing to decide,…..and I wanted her to come so bad…I think I almost begged! But I knew she had to stay there.

Well now it is her time to leave. It is her time to spread her wings and try to fly! Vega isn’t a place you can soar in! BUT it is a place you can soar out of! And I know deep down this is what is the best for her. 750 miles away is a heartbreaker…. And I know how scared she is…and I know the what ifs that are going though her head. Sheesh they went though mine not even a year ago! And most of my what ifs have happened.

So my advice to her would be…don’t dwell on the what ifs…the more you dwell on the the more they are likely to happen! I remember the first time I moved away from Oldham country texas and how so damn scared I was! And mixed into that was an excitement too of something new and unknown! Unfortunatly most of my biggest fears came true! That is what happens when you move to a hell hole like Odessa aka slowdetha Texas!

Those first holidays away from everyone…they are so damn depressing…hell those others that you have been away for again are still hard.

Denise is a good person…she will find her place in the world….and it doesn’t have to be shoved up my ass! Just as Amanda has….she has to go and be and do and get hurt and be disappointed and feel the victory when that one day things actually begin to click! She isn’t my little sister anymore, she is a grown woman who is in love with her man….and I believe her man is in love with her! With that in her life, there are no limits!

It is hard for me to see her leave…but I know it has to be done! We will just have to make more of an effort to see one another! Email phones faxes and such…those are what will keep us well us!

When you are the big sister, who had to assume a roll you were not prepared to take, it is so damn hard to make sure you draw that line. Between sis and mom! I sure hope I have done her some justice!

Love ya necy…I am gonna miss ya!! I love ya sooo much!

New Day

Hey All
Yes I know...it is a goth girl with tattoos and piercings! Yes I see that...BUT it is also green and pink and all those funky colors together that I like! AND I have been giving a lot of thought into change lately! Things are changing around here...some good some bad some just me knowing things have to change. Yes I am 5 months away from 30...honestly it is no biggie...but in the grand scheme of things...I do feel like change is inevitable! ???????????????????????

Am I going to start tattooing my body...not likely...one might be nice....I am not sure...am I going to start poking holes in my body is strange places....NO...that isn't going to happen. One I am a mom and moms don't look like that...two it just isn't me...I went though that phase and it isn't attractive! Will I dye my hair some funky color...well we all know me that just might happen! Will I start wearing clothes like that...hmmm...if I can get the rest of this weight off...there is no telling! Am I going to slather up in white makeup black eyeliner and red lips...LMAO you know me better than that!

This isn't what is going to happen!!!! Trust me...maybe after a hellofa night..but not always!

Change is inevitable no matter who you are...me it is time for me to be more true to myself...instead of being what I think others think I should be! I will keep ya posted on that. But for now...live with goth girl up there...she is a cutie in her own way! You gotta admit there is something hot and sensual about it all! Or maybe not! LOL I do however love the colors that are attributed to it all...the reds, and blacks and purples and such! I love it! The roses with tear drops and such! I like what it looks like...not what it represents...and honestly if any of you have ever spent anytime around these gals, you will realize they are not butches, they are not bitches, they don't wanna suck your blood, although maybe another part of a male body..or female for that matter...they don't worship the devil...all myths and bull shit!
OK well maybe some of them do but not all of them! OK I am gonna get off this subject....if ya don't get it by now you aren't gonna get it!!!!



Now onto other things....I got a call from Denise yesterday saying she was going to move to Farmington NM with Ben! yes I bawled my eyes out when we got done talking! I hate the fact that she is going to be 750 miles away from me. But I also know it is time for her to fly! So before I break down and loose it again...I am going to not talk about this anymore! My heart is breaking because I just knew sooner or later we would be living around each other once again! Anyways....



Big maroon truck update....he got his truck last night....2005 model! I am happy for him..he sounds sick and wants to come home! He isn't sure at this point if he is going to make it home or not! So we will see! I will keep ya posted!

I am done for now! Life stinks still...but things WILL GET BETTER! LOL!

Love ya, Me

Smoking!

Yes I smoke, yes I worry about it effects on my body and NO I don't give a shit if it bothers you!

If you know me you know THIS is all I will smoke...if I am out I am out if someone else has another kind I won't smoke it! I will go without! Picky smoker, hell yeah, just about as picky with my smokes as I am with my food! But let me as you something......

Does this make you want to smoke? It is one of the new pics of the Marlboro ads! It conjures up all kinds of ideas, with smoking being the final thing I do around this guy! But does it make me want to smoke? NO and if it does make you want to smoke just looking at it...YOU are the one with the problem!

And then there is this one that i have heard all kinds of things about........

See this boy, yes he is smoking, yes he is a US soldier...yes he is in a war zone....NO he is not showing children bad habits. I will tell you what..the idiots that say that shit...lets put them in a war zone with no alcohol no drugs and no way out...but to fight and the only thing you can do is smoke....lets see if you dont' take up the habit after being shot at because of the color of shirt you are wearing! These boys and I do mean BOYS are being shot at left and right, they fear driving down the road because they might get blown up....HELL I would have to smoke too! Does smoking make him look like a man...HELL NO...that thing strapped to his head and that dirt and grime and God only knows what else all over him makes him look like a man! The cigg...makes him look like he had a hellofa day and 99.9% of us will NEVER understand!!!

SO to those idiots that say all the shit about this....I got two words for you......................

FUCK OFF!

My day

What do I have to talk about today! Well I can talk about my day yesterday because it was something new that has never ever happened before!

I went to Shawnee with Winnie (mother in law) we had a damn good time actually. Went to lunch, talked like normal people, went to the dollar tree....she bought me flowers yes like real flowers.....................................SHOCKING isnt it!

Not exactly those flowers, actually I have seen this photo before and I really like the colors! But that is beside the point...WE had a good time. Talked laughed and all that good stuff! DJ was just as shocked as you are right now. OK everyone that knows she and I BOTH close your mouth. This is not attractive y'all---->

It is a big deal....and it is some Earth shifting on its axis type of thing...when I was telling DJ about it last night I thought he was going to pass out as I was talking to him! LOL Honestly when she is sober she isn't so bad! Believe it or not! LOL

OK now onto other things....Easter is this weekend.....and I took a stand this year and said NO easter bunny...yes I know...I am a horrible mom, BUT look at this.....

To me this is scary....I am not sure why but the freaking Bunny has always freaked me out....and the more I read about where the stupid thing came from I think it has to do with me eternally knowing that the whole bunny egg thing is just WRONG that is not what Easter is about. I wont get all religious on anyone here, but this is my blog so I am allowed to say this. Bunnies and Eggs are pagen rituals! And I am not into that....the whole bunny egg thing is a fertility thing that started in ROME and their fucked up ways! OK Now with that out of my mouth and outta my head I am going to say..I AM NOT DOING THIS! Zach seems to know it isn't right...he hasnt ever liked it...the one photo I have with him with the bunny he is screaming his head off...and the other two would never even go up to him! So NO EGGS this year...yeah right! I got the coloring...but more for something for us to do....something that we like to do...to hide and hunt them....well we are going to do it, but this year I have decided it isn't going to be the end all be all of it all! They have been talked to a lot about what Easter is really about...I asked them and they came close to knowing what it is all about but didn't quite get it right. SOOOOOOO........I have been talking to them a lot.
By the time I was their age......I had a profound need to know what was happening! Maybe that had to do with not having a dad and then watching my step father die and I was trying to make sense of it all...but I had that feeling before that just got to be more after that. My children, thank GOD have never had to deal with something so personal and so tragic. My mother passed, but they weren't there for all the hard things either. The funeral and such, we didn't take them, because I didnt think I could do them much justice with them being there and me being a basket case! Maybe I should have, maybe I did the right thing...maybe it was me shooting back to being 7 and walking that walk with my mom and I didn't want them to see me the way I saw my mom at that time!
OK back to what I was talking about....We have decided to wait till DJ gets home to do Easter dinner and such....he said we didn't have to like it is not that much of a big deal to him...BUT I dont' care it is a big deal to me! It is more of the family being together! PERIOD DOT..I GET MY WAY (music playing in the back ground going na na na na naaaa na!)

Other than that there isn't much happening...well other than the Linus bull shit...but I have no clue what is happening there...I assumed Winnie would either bring him back here last night or I would hear something and I haven't heard anything...so there is no telling. I did tell him yesterday he had to get the FUCK OUT! He was shocked and he started crying....Grown men don't cry unless someone is dying, dead or they have their 25th anniversary....well there are a few more times, but this come on...CRYING

Come on man GROW THE FUCK UP! I told him STOP IT...I am a mother of three and that shit doesn't work on me. As quickly as it started it stopped! IDIOT!

OK Well I could go on and on and on with this but I am not going too...well that and I gotta get the kids ready for school! LOL So y'all have a wonderful day! Shan

American Idol

Hello All
Well in the grand scheme of things American Idol isn't exactly the nightly news, but I have to say it is fun to watch!

With that said I am a Taylor fan.....With that said...this is why...he has so much energy and is so cute. Not hottie omg I want him hot just want to pinch his cheeks cute! He reminds me of Joey and what Joey will look like at that age, and he has a lot of the same manerisums(SP) as Joe Joe does too! And if I could find a good pic of Joey I would show you! Let me see here.....time ticks on as I am looking and something is fucked with my CD drive because it won't read disks like it is suppose to....tick tock tick tock......

Boom there it is...why was it in that folder...lol......

OK now if you don't see it if you spent some time around Joe you would see it...imagine gray hair and a little older! OK I am done with showing that! LOL

NOW I was not a Bucky fan....BUT he had to go out and sing my favorite Queen song, Fat Bottom Girls...I LOVE that song...maybe because I have always had a huge ass...who knows....LOL BUT he did a kick ass job as far as I am concerned. MUCH better than that irritating wanna be sex star Ace...I cannot stand him...nor do I like Elliot that much! Bucky sorta reminded me of Joe Dirt only a little cleaner...I am not sure...I do like his voice, as an American Idol, the whole pop BS...NO he isn't that kind of singer, but I do like country music and I can see him becomming a music star....just one thing is gonna have to happen first.............

Darlin get those teeth fixed, tuck in that shirt, get ya a belt buckle, keep the hat and the long blonde hair and get you a kick ass song written by Big and Rich and you are on your way!!! OK I am done with that rant...
Now back to why is Ace still there...I will tell you why...he is that kind of guy that woman look and and go ohhh ahhh...that is the only reason because the boy cant really sing. OK I am done! LOL


Now onto what I think of the rest of them.....Kelly is a fake I dont' care NO ONE is that stupid...PERIOD DOT....you don't get this far and be that stupid....oh and BTW You aren't Kelly Clarkson so stop it...http://www.votefortheworst.com/pickler.html..
Paris she is a cutie pie, unfortuantly she doesn't have enough fans to make it all the way....Chris...kick ass...that is all I can say about him...he even picked one of the worst Queen songs ever and made it work.....Katherine....something about her I just don't like, but then again I dont' like Whitney Houston, Celine Dion, or anyone else that has that huge ohh look at me voice, I think it is to much...I wanna be sang to not screamed at.....Personally my thought are the last three will be Chris, Kelly and Hopefully Taylor...I know I burn up the phone lines voting, but I do also know that Chris is a rocker and it is about damn time a rocker wins.....if it isn't Taylor, who BTW is not an old man...he is the same age as me...so if he is old then I am old!!! And I think the gray hair is hot! LOL Paris....I would like to see her go that far, but I dunno the idiots little teenie bopper girls can't vote for Chicken Little anymore, so they will go for that well womanly man! LOL



OK I am done with this rant!!! Y'all vote for TAYLOR!!!! And Kaci I can't wait to get that CD!!!

Shan

This says it all!!!!

26 Tomorrow!! Happy Birthday Kasey!!!!

Sunday Sunday Sunday!!!

Well here we are again...another sunday is upon us! Now I have to say they are racing in Texas this Sunday...honestly the ONLY Nascar track I have ever had the pleasure of laying my eyes on personally! I have stood in the their parking lot and I do believe somewhere around here I have a goof ass picture of me there! I didn't get to witness the race....Bummer yes I know!

But my dad went last year and got to watch MY MAN win the Busch series race...yeah that one smarted....BUT he did get to witness Biffles win there last April! And did he bring me back anything from the races? HELL NO he did however get him a number 7 Jack Daniels shirt....and no it is not because he is a fan it is because when he raced his number was 7 see.....
Yes I know it isn't the best pic of the car but it is the only one I can find right now!!! GO figure...maybe that thing my mother was married to has them still maybe my dad has them who knows! BUT that is him...IN THE LEAD...the day he won is trophy! At the dirt track in Clovis NM! So yes I come by all this insance octained fueled madness naturally! LOL

OK now back to the line up...WHOO HOO Judy do you see who has the pole and who is right next to him! WOW hun we have a battle on our hands this day don't we! OK now for you in the unknowing here....My man, (see above) and one of Judys guys the cute little rookie here
Mr Interstate Batteries himself JJ Yeley....both have the pole and the 2nd position! SO looks like we have the front row today Judy!!! I gotta say in yesterdays Busch race he was looking kick ass both of them were then KK had a tire go down took him damn near the whole race to get back on the lead lap and JJ was doing wonderfully and someone got into him and in the wall he went! Which really sucked!!! SO GOOOOO GUYS TODAY!!!

OK I am sorry but I just don't have it in me to do much this morning....I am not feeling 100% but if I get to feeling better later I will add more!!!!

See yas!!!!!

Yes I know it is sunday.....

And yes I know it is the day for the Nascar report! BUT before I do all that I wanted to take a minute and say thanks to all my friends who have been so damn supportive to me and DJ during this time! It was been a very stressful time in our lives and things seemed to have blown up in our face...BUT we are recovering!

He left yesterday for Little Rock...hopefully we will see him next weekend but I am not sure how that is going to work. He has to do the training on the flat bed and the UA and the physical and the driving test and all that good crap and then we will know if he has to do extended training for the steel coils or not...since he did them at SMX he might not have too!! YAHOOO!!!!


Anyways...I wanted to give a huge hug and loads of love to everyone who has listened to me bitch, scream, cry, whine, and complain! You are truely friends!!!

(corney yes I know)

But I had to show my emotions some way! Love you all so very much!!!! Now it is my turn to get back on track and you get to vent at me!!!!! YEAH! BACK in my element!!! LOL Shan